


A Mother's Burden

by Sadaralo



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 19:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1829737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadaralo/pseuds/Sadaralo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sadara Lochlan and Lwaxana Troi bond over husbands and daughters in Starfleet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mother's Burden

“Ah! There you are, my dear!” 

Ambassador Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the fifth house of Betazed, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, and heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed stood in the entryway of the darkened Observation Deck with her hands clasped loosely in front of her. The light from the corridor that had been illuminating her tall form vanished as the door hissed shut behind her.

Her tone had been light and cheerful as was customary for the intense and vibrant telepath, a stark contrast to the heavy and morose feeling she’d sensed emanating from this very room.

Captain Sadara Lochlan of the USS Sovereign was the lone occupant and the Vulcan/Human hybrid turned toward Lwaxana with an effort to present the image of a starship captain and not the helpless mortal she felt like.

“Ambassador Troi. Please come in.” 

Gesturing to the nearby chairs, Sadara made her way to the replicator. “Can I get you anything?”

Sadara hadn’t been expecting company at this late hour and she honestly didn’t feel up to it, but with dignitaries on board, she was obligated to play accommodating hostess regardless of personal desires for solitude.

“Nothing, dear, thank you.” Lwaxana’s onyx eyes and tone turned serious. “Actually I’m here to see if there’s anything I can do for you. I thought I “heard” a “cry for help” not too long ago.”

That stopped Sadara just as she was about to pull a mug of piping hot chocolate from the replicator and she looked contrite. “I deeply apologize if I was projecting. I fear I spent less time than I should have in my youth polishing my mental shields.”

“No apologies are necessary,” Lwaxana said with a concerned smile as she lowered herself into one of the chairs, adjusting her ornate, sapphire blue dress as she did so. She waited patiently as Sadara lifted the mug to her full lips and took a cautious sip. The Sovereign’s captain had been drinking hot chocolate her entire life and yet she was still curiously cautious of the temperature at first.

With a raised eyebrow, Sadara peered into the mug and contemplated why she did that when other life long hot beverage drinkers just dove right in. Careful or you’ll get burned. It was the motto of her life it seemed. Making her way to the chair across from Lwaxana, Sadara slowly lowered herself into the chair, mindful of the still full mug in her hands. For a long moment she was silent, gazing out into the stars.

“My daughter, Madeline is captain of the USS Endeavor. It was patrolling an area near the Cardassian border and hasn’t been heard from in over two days.” 

She took another sip and chuckled as she gazed down into the mug again, swirling the liquid brown contents.

“I think of all I’ve faced in my long life; space battles, hand to hand combat, moral and ethical decisions, life and death decisions, challenges with seemingly insurmountable odds… Out of all of that, the hardest thing for me to do was let Madeline enter Starfleet Academy. And I feel like such a hypocrite because I’m in Starfleet. I put my dad through the same thing. Come to think of it, this has been going on for generations in my family…”

“But you know how dangerous it is out here.” 

Sadara nodded, tears clouding her sapphire eyes. She rose from her chair, setting the mug down on the coffee table between them and moved to stand in front of the large window. 

“Exactly. And my feelings are compounded by the fact that I lost my first child to a heart defect when he was three months old. That was over 100 years ago and sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and can scarcely believe that really happened. I’ve never felt so helpless. It was difficult to refrain from being an overbearing mother to Madeline when she came along. Inside, I felt compelled to go with her everywhere, to make sure she didn’t try some crazy stunt that kids are often wont to do and hurt herself. I wanted to protect her from everything, like I couldn’t do with Tobin.”

Wiping a few tears away, Sadara exhaled in frustration. She hated people seeing her cry like this, but the worries and fears of a mother weren’t wiped away as easily as tears were.

Lwaxana rose and joined Sadara at the window, pulling the other woman into a comforting side hug. Sadara’s plight hit very close to home for the still attractive and vivacious Betazoid, herself having lost a child once and then later a husband to the perils of life as a Starfleet officer.

“I think that’s one of the most conflicting experiences for any mother; the desire for our children to grow up to be individuals and make their own decisions, but still there’s that almost overwhelming urge to protect them from everything we think might hurt them.”

They stood together in silence for a long moment, just contemplating the stars and life in general in quiet communion.

“I understand better than you think, my dear,” Lwaxana continued finally. “I lost a child once to an accident.” She exhaled shakily, trying to get it all out even though the harsh, bitter memories threatened to overwhelm her as well. It was still taking her time to fully integrate her memories of Kestra back into her consciousness.

“And later, my husband, Ian on a Starfleet mission. Something else I believe we have in common.”

“Unfortunately, yes. I had this feeling of foreboding in the days leading up to the christening of the Enterprise B. There was just something akin to a feeling of doom in the pit of my stomach at the thought of Jim cruising around on an Enterprise that wasn’t his. There was nothing logical or rational about the feeling. It just seemed… unnatural for there to be another captain of the Enterprise while he was alive.”

Lwaxana squeezed Sadara’s arm gently. “I’ve discovered being the wife and mother of Starfleet officers is more stressful than being the ambassador of an entire planet. Every time I get a message from a Starfleet officer other than Deanna I swear I’m going to have a stroke. There’s always a fear in the back of my mind that it will happen again and I’ll have no one left.”

Glancing over at Lwaxana, Sadara smiled knowingly. “Same. I get communiqués from Starfleet all the time and it’s routine business for Starfleet, but my heart lurches every time, especially when the message comes at an odd hour. I can’t help but fear that it will be bad news about Madeline.”

She took a deep breath. “That said, I’ve discovered with this Breen attack on Earth, that Maddy isn’t safe, even at home. I’m glad she’s doing something she believes in, even if I do worry about her all the time. It doesn’t seem to matter how old I get or how old she gets. Maddy is over a 100 years old and every time she tells me she’s heading out for another mission I tell her to call me when mission accomplished so I know she’s safe. I’m sure she just wishes she could beam me into the next dimension.”

“I feel the same way about Deanna,” Lwaxana said with a brighter smile. “Madeline will be fine. You’ll see.”


End file.
